


Dinner Date

by 5arah



Category: South Park
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Public Hand Jobs, Smut, Tweek is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-24 23:20:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13821588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5arah/pseuds/5arah
Summary: Craig invites Tweek over for dinner.





	Dinner Date

Craig was nervous. 

It’s been a while since he’s invited his boyfriend over for dinner. And for good reason, too. What is that reason, you ask? Well, it’s because Craig’s parents are so, _so_ embarrassing. Last dinner somehow ended with them cooing over Craig’s baby photos and some old VHS tapes.

_Ding dong_. 

“I’ll get it.” a tall, blonde woman yelled as she walked past Craig, easing the door open. “Oh, Tweek!” she chirped, gesturing for the boy to come in. “Craig, sweetheart, your boy toy is here!” 

Craig spat out his chocolate milk in horror. _Boy toy_? God, it hasn’t even been one minute and yet this is already a disaster. He got up from the couch and made his way towards the door, but not before sending his mom a death glare. “Mom, please don’t call him that.” he sighed as he placed a kiss on Tweek’s cheek. “Hey honey.” 

“Boy toy?” Tweek giggled, returning Craig’s kiss. 

“She doesn’t know what it means. I think.” he mumbled, assisting Tweek with his jacket. “You hungry?” 

Tweek nodded. “Starving.” 

“Dad!” Craig yelled, causing Tweek to flinch. “Tweek’s hungry!” 

“Oh? Tweek’s here?” asked a faint voice. Craig heard the burner turn off as heavy footsteps approached the living room. 

“Hello, kiddo.” a giant, albeit overweight man greeted, patting the blond boy’s back. Tweek was almost flung forward by the impact. 

“G-Good evening, sir.” Tweek smiled uncomfortably. Craig’s dad was very intimidating, standing at a little over 6’8. He could squish Tweek like an ant if he wanted to. 

“Call me Thomas.” he insisted. “I’ll go bring the food. You two wait at the table.”

Craig obeyed and held his hand out for Tweek, who instantly took it. It’s honestly become a reflex at this point. He led him to the table and pulled out his chair, motioning for the blond to sit down. Tweek giggled, amused by his boyfriend’s newfound manners. “You’re such a gentleman.” 

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it.” he teased, sticking his tongue out. 

Tweek wrinkled his nose as Craig took his seat. “Where’s Tricia?” 

“At dance practice.” Craig shrugged. 

“Boo. I want to see her.” 

Craig raised an eyebrow. “But she’s annoying.” 

Tweek huffed. “No she isn’t! She’s cute.” 

Craig muttered a ‘whatever’, jealousy bubbling inside him as he handed Tweek a plate (the one with dividers, because Tweek _hated_ having his food touch). Craig’s parents joined them with forks and spoons. 

“All right, kids, let’s dig in.” Thomas said, hands clasped together in a silent prayer. 

“Here you go, Tweek.” the woman spoke as she used her tongs to distribute a thick slice of smoked ham, glazed brussel sprouts, and a hot biscuit.

“Thank you, ma’am.” Tweek replied almost robotically, his mouth watering. 

“Please, call me Laura.” she smiled softly before taking her seat. “So, Tweek, how has school been?” 

“… Tweek, what the hell are you doing?” Craig asked confusingly. Tweek was palming Craig’s crotch from under the table with one hand, and scooping up spoonfuls of food with the other. 

“Hm?” Tweek hummed, undoing Craig’s fly. Craig slapped his hand away, but Tweek was persistent. “Oh, school’s been great! I got cast for a lead role in drama club today. We’re doing Grease. I was hoping you would come see me perform.” 

Laura clapped her hands excitedly. “Of course! We’ll definitely come see you. You’re our future son in law, after all!”

“Mom!” Craig groaned with embarrassment, and then pleasure. Tweek’s fingers were brushing against the fabric of his boxers, reaching for his hard-on. He… he’s not going to give Craig a hand job in front of his parents, is he? That’s crossing the line, even for someone as perverted as Tweek. 

“What? It’s true!” 

“Hah… ah…” Craig sighed as Tweek’s fingers slipped into his boxers. What the fuck is wrong with his boyfriend? This is so indecent!

“Son, quit playing with your food.” Thomas demanded. Craig kicked Tweek in the shin, earning a cry of pain from the shorter boy. 

“Everything okay, kids?” Laura asked, eyeing the two suspiciously. 

“Ah, y-yeah. Everything’s fine, mo— OW!” Craig yelped as Tweek’s hand found its way to Craig’s dick yet again, squeezing his balls in revenge. 

Laura raised an eyebrow. “So, Tweek, how’s the coffee business?” 

Tweek grinned innocently. “It’s going well. I’m still working full-time though.” 

“Really?” she asked, gazing at Tweek in disbelief. “But you have school! Helen and Richard should really hire more employees. Don’t you agree, honey?” 

“For sure. They’re going to overwork the poor kid to death at this rate.” Thomas grunted, sipping his beer. 

“Ah… shit…” Craig cursed when he felt Tweek’s fingers slide down his shaft. Craig grabbed onto his wrist, but Tweek wouldn’t budge. He just started rubbing the tip that was now oozing with precum. 

“Craig, we do not curse at the dinner table.” Laura scolded, waving her middle finger. 

“S-Sorr— ahhh, shit!” Craig moaned, startling his parents. Even Tweek was caught off guard, immediately retracting his hand. _This little…!_ “Mom, could you excuse us for a moment?” 

Laura pouted. “You haven’t even touched your food.” 

“Please?” he pleaded, giving her puppy eyes. 

“Well…” she hesitated, “all right. But make it quick.” 

Craig thanked her and grabbed Tweek tightly by the arm before walking him up the stairs. Once they were in his room, Craig locked the door and threw Tweek roughly against the wall. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Craig hissed through clenched teeth. 

“You were hard. I was taking care of it.” Tweek answered nonchalantly, rubbing the sore spot on his arm. 

“In front of my _parents_?!” Craig snarled, grabbing Tweek by the collar. 

“Sorry.” Tweek giggled flirtatiously. Craig flipped him off and Tweek unzipped his pants, dropping to his knees. “Maybe you’ll accept a blowjob as an apology?” 

Craig rolled his eyes. “Depends on how good it is.” 

“Are you doubting my skill?” Tweek scoffed. He was going to give Craig the best blowjob of his life. So good that he’ll blackout. So good that he’ll see stars for hours. 

“Make it quick. My parents are waiting.” Craig huffed. Tweek nodded and grabbed onto Craig’s dick, stroking him loosely. He flicked his tongue over the slit, tasting the salty precum. Craig moaned when Tweek slipped his mouth over the tip, then the shaft, until he was deep-throating the whole thing. “Fuck, Tweek, you’re so good at this.” 

Craig could feel Tweek’s lips upturn at the praise. He slowly bobbed his head up and down, trying not to gag. He was moving at a painfully slow pace, and Craig was growing impatient.

“I said make it quick.” Craig growled, wrapping his fingers in Tweek’s hair. The blond choked as Craig thrusted into his mouth ruthlessly, hitting his esophagus. Craig’s grip was so strong, Tweek couldn’t come up for air. Is this how he was going to die? By suffocating on his boyfriend’s dick? 

“Mmm, mmm!” Tweek choked around Craig’s dick, clutching his thighs. Craig just continued to face fuck his boyfriend, completely oblivious. He was so close. 

“Shit, I’m gonna…” Craig’s sentence was cut short when he reached his orgasm. He moaned loudly and shot his load down Tweek’s throat, releasing his grip. Tweek pulled off angrily and spat the sticky white liquid into his palm. Craig frowned. “Why didn’t you swallow?” 

Tweek twitched. “You, agh, almost killed me! I couldn’t breathe!” 

“Oh. Sorry. You kinda deserved it though.” Craig smirked, helping him up. Tweek whined as Craig licked the cum from his pink lips. “Let’s head back downstairs.” 

_

“Where’d you boys go?” Laura asked as the pair took their respective seats. 

“I had to show Tweek something for school. It was, um, really important.” Craig lied, poking at the food with his fork. 

Laura smiled. “Is that so, Tweek?” Tweek nodded nervously, and her smile turned into a scowl. “You’re both grounded.” 

“What?!” they screamed in unison, and the table went silent. “Why?” Craig finally managed to blurt out. 

Laura shook her head disappointingly. “Tweek, please refrain from performing oral on my son. You’re too young for that.” 

Tweek shrieked in horror, his face beet red. “I-I-I’m so sorry, ma’am!” 

“How did you know…?” Craig whispered, his mouth agape. Tweek would have asked the same thing if he weren’t freaking out internally right now. 

“You’re loud, son. These walls aren’t soundproof.” Thomas sighed. “We heard everything.” 

Craig was so tempted to jump out the window. Instead, he pulled on the flaps of his chullo and covered his eyes, unable to look at his parents. “Sorry…” 

Thomas shrugged. “Your mother and I were sexually curious at your age. It’s normal. Just try not to do it while we’re in the house, all right?” 

“And when you _do_ have sex— which better not be any time soon— you have to wear a condom, okay, sweetheart?” Laura said sweetly, patting both boys on the head. 

“Okay, okay! We get it! Now can you please drop it?” Craig groaned, and Tweek whimpered in agreement. 

Laura nodded approvingly and quickly changed the subject.

Craig is never inviting Tweek over for dinner ever again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope u enjoyed it teehee  
> THis is really bad/really rushed. I really want to write more smutty goodness but I've been so busy lately, so I just did this one really quickly today


End file.
